ahoy!
spent the day sailing on the Indian Summer with g'pa and matt
it was the first time my brother has been out on the boat in many many (15?) years. quite nice to have him come with us. he seemed to have a great time.

we raced and came in last, but didn't care. it was beautiful on the water. crisp feb weather. saw some porpoise and ate tuna sandwiches.

spent last night at the gs house. mom was there too. we went down to the yacht club and watched an interesting documentary about a big sea rescue in the south pacific. it shouldn't have, but it made me want to sail around the world in such a painful way. i don't think it is ever going to happen, mostly because i don't think i could live too far away from the wonders of western medicine for the time it would take... but the dream of months of solitude are very appealing. time for me and no one else. think of the piles of books i could read.

i am teetering on the edge of a flare-up of crohn's. the pain isn't bad right now, but i have been increasingly pukey and i am so used to the feeling that i know it's coming on. fuck. no fun. i spoke to the medical professionals on friday but didn't get a clear plan of attack... which means i get to sit it out till monday. wheeee.

chronic pain is a good teacher and i definitely wouldn't be who i am without it. it has taught me about mortality, limits, what in life is really important, and how to be (a) patient.

but shit, there has got to be better ways to build character.