hi. i'm home for what seems to be the first time in ages and my internet connection is holding strong for now (i am having an issue with my cisco 675 modem that i havent bothered fixing, i'm lazy and have a high pain threshold). So anyways, i am home. i do not have a niece yet, though it is 2 days past due date. cathy and matt must be freaking. i am in my gonna-be-an-uncle way. my godson, calvin, spoke his first sentence yesterday. "i troed it", in reference to a ball to a dog.

kayaking was godlike. to be away from the city when cities are tumbling is a good thing. i am doing more of that this winter. dungeness spit. sailing. i got plans i got schemes. saw many seals, a mink, 3 bald eagles, countless starfish, kelp beds, several herds of bighorn sheep, all kinds of birds (harlequin duck, ohhhh), oh geeess....all kinds of stuff. i was a little disapointed that the guides idea of nondairy option was to provide for myself or do without, fortunately i provided, but besides that and a need to get away from the small group that we were with, it was great. tia and i just hung back and had our own trip. sped up when we needed to, but mostly just kept to ourselves. drank a bit, played scrabble, watched the sound and the islands slip by. my arms were sore. i will leave it at that.

work is... still hanging in there. it doesn't feel good though. wondering what i can do to help, but feeling helpless. feeling not asked for my opinion. feel manipulated. which is odd for apex... i used to not feel that way ever.... which is a lie... i did feel that way in points past, but it was always an exception that i could be indignant about.

oh boy....